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Over the last few days I’ve been in deep conversation with one of our daughters about what life might look like post college and beyond. What kind of career interests her, what she thinks she wants, and what she’s unsure about.

These aren’t easy conversations.

I think one of the hardest things for young people to say out loud is, “I don’t know yet, I'm figuring it out.” We live in a world that pushes certainty very early: Pick a major, pick a path, pick a future. But the truth is, there are long stretches of life, sometimes years, where we are still figuring it out. We’re unsure of the choices we make, and we’re unsure if what we’re doing now is what we will be doing long term. And admitting that uncertainty can feel uncomfortable, even at times embarrassing.

But as I told our daughter, that’s life.

And it’s not just careers. Sometimes it’s emotional, sometimes personal. I talk to people often who carry things from childhood: anger, stubbornness, unresolved pain, old trauma. And a lot of the time they don’t always know how to move past it. This week I spoke with a JGO alumnus who’s struggling deeply with trauma that happened many years ago. He felt frustrated with himself for not being “over it” yet.

I told him the truth: Give yourself time, we’re all still figuring it out. Even those of us in our 40’s, even people much later in life. And yes, even Rabbis